Alana Massey

Greetings and salutations. I am a writer covering identity, culture, vice, and virtue at publications like NPR, The Atlantic, Elle, The Guardian, NYMag, Hazlitt, Matter, The New Republic, Pacific Standard, The LA Review of Books, BuzzFeed, VICE, The Washington Post, The New Inquiry, The Hairpin, and more.

My first collection of essays, All the Lives I Want, is being published by Grand Central Publishing in February 2017. Grand Central is also publishing my second book, Worth Less, at a forthcoming date. My literary agent is Adriann Ranta.


Photo Credit: Don Rasniewski
Photo Credit: Don Rasniewski



29 thoughts

  1. Hey Alana, came across one of your posts on xojane. Made me feel so much better for not being the only one in a situation like that. Really admire you. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

    1. I just wanted to say thank you for your article on the personal attacks you suffered about your age and appearance. Today I suffered a similar thing and I felt it eat into my confidence and soul. Even though I know it’s simply societies way of looking at woman from age old ancient structures of treating woman like chattel to be sold off at best market price. It still hurt. And that’s where your article camr in. It popped up on my facebook feed and looking at your lovely little face peering out from the page i realised that if you too were being pulled apart for these things and you in my opinion look lovely then it’s ok I probably don’t look that bad either. I simply fell into the crime of happening to be in thirties which it seems is a great failing on a woman’s part. Thank you for helping me feel stronger and braver. I found your words profound and true.its such a tiresome old judgement that’s debalues woman and I hope in time awareness may help to change it somewhat.

  2. Hello! I have arrived by way of one of your xojane posts via the bloggess, and I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to profess my love for you, but it’s the Internet so I’m guessing it’s okay. I’m just gonna go ahead and creep out on your blog and try to make you my new blog BFF, mmkay?


    But seriously, love your writing. Funny and insightful and brilliant all at the same time. Kudos.

  3. I’m interested in your Divinity school background. Did you give it up, or is it still really important to you? Also, what position do you play in futbol?

  4. Came across your blog after reading one of your XO posts that a friend posted on FB. It’s a treat to see what has become of my first girlfriend. Thanks for introducing me to the smashing pumpkins.


  5. I thought I was the only one who loved One Direction and Daniel Day-Lewis equally. Glad to not be alone in the world.

  6. Congratulations, after a link XOJane piece you have been added to the small (but prestigious) group of blogs on my bookmark bar. Your wordplay amuses the piss out of me.

  7. I’ve just read your piece on Buzzfeed about being a Winona in a Gwyneth world and I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed it. Your wit and honesty is wonderful and I can’t wait to read more from you. I especially related to you as I’ve been stripping for 10 years now partly because it’s the only job I can fit around my mental illness (anxiety and depression) Your writing made me feel less alone so thankyou 🙂

  8. Hey Anna, I read your article “against chill” from It was so hilarious. On my way to home which is an hour commute, I had smile all the way. Thanks for making me laugh.

  9. I wanted to let you know your Chill piece meant a lot to me. Funny thing is I’m not sure why. We seem to have not much in common.

    I’m a 46 year old married man working as a tech geek in a place uncomfortably close to Senator Ted Cruz.

    You are a young writer living in New York who is teaching people how to understand and reason about life, relationships, and a woman’s perspective.

    I don’t mean to pigeonhole you with that description. In fact, I guess my point is your work in transcending simple demographics and instead addressing humanity, fears, and truths that are important and carthartic for a lot of us.

    Nice work Alana

  10. Thank you for writing your piece against Chill. It described perfectly the behaviour patterns, values and complete lack of compassion of my previous romantic liaison. I have spent the better part of a year going over my experiences with her and trying to understand how it had to happen as it did. Your piece hasn’t undone any of the injustices or pain I suffered trying to get close to this person, but it was immeasurably validating to read. I now no longer have to wonder why we were so far apart from each other and why nothing I did (or didn’t do) had any positive effect on our relationship. I can now focus on healing and finding peace with myself, as well as compatibility with someone else. I have always known I am a worthwhile person and that I am worth caring about, but I now also know that her ambivalence toward me was less about me than about her own privacy. She’s entitled to that, as am I to love. I can now put a big piece of this journey behind me. Please write more.

  11. TY for your lines in the Washington Post – I like the status “culturally Christian” as you put it there, which is an exact match to me! Sorry, I don’t believe in Religion nor do I believe in twitter – that’s why I had to post this here! Would love to see and read more of you thou!

  12. you’re quite attractive. So your problem must be the crazy. Are you related to Mattress Girl?

    If not, then you can turn over a new leaf. Get the hell out of crazy-land (“hipster Brooklyn”)
    and move to someplace like Milwaukee.

    You’re not getting any younger. So don’t delay

    PS: high value men don’t want to be partnered with women whose sole skill is churning out Neurosis Porn.

  13. Your writing is incredible! Really a much more polished and interesting style than a lot of the shit I see on the Guardian. Keep up the good work!

  14. “‘I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?’ And the bittersweet but hopeful answer from countless girls and women is: ‘Yes. Absolutely. And you can too.'”

    No, we can’t, though. Because we’re men, and both the men and women in our lives do everything they can to stop strong one-on-one male relationships through the “bromance” slur and other shaming, with much of that shaming and other attempt to deride and divide us coming out of the non-stop media barrage of modern feminism. Thank you very much for the insight and the sympathy, though.. at least it’s one step further than what we usually hear, which is “man up and get a dog and a wife” and “just stop abusing women and you’ll be less lonely.”

  15. This might be my first post on the internet….ever….but I was compelled after reading your article today on The Cut. As a single New Yorker, I go on more than my fair share of first dates and waste way too much time on duds. You’ve inspired me to duck out early!

  16. I am a little bit in love with both you and “The Absolute Necessity of One Direction”. Anytime I feel embarrassed of my hours long YouTube holes of 1D, (which happens more often than not) I read your essay. My mind rests easy knowing I’m not the only female in my early thirties with an affection and longing for the fantasy 1D created.
    You’re wonderful.

  17. Hi! I came across your work on a Facebook page called extra crispy. I loved both articles! You are very witty.

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